The Process of Dying
by wingeddserpent
Summary: Once upon a time, there were two children who grew up in a lab. This outlines eleven moments in their lives. Minor AU. Rated for canon character death and minor violence.


one.

Professor Gast's assistant carries in a baby, followed by a brown-haired woman with downcast eyes. He's seen her before, here, in this place.

He wonders when Gast will come back to play, and doesn't think of her again.

two.

A girl-child sits on the white floor, using upturned test tubes for dolls. Her brown hair has the jagged cut of a scientist in a hurry, just like his does.

He steps closer and hears her nonsensical babble that is the test tubes' voices. Whatever language it is, it isn't Midgarian; but, somehow, it sounds familiar. Maybe he played with test tubes as a child too.

Professor Gast's assistant calls, and she leaves, abandoning her toys on the tiled floor. He thinks nothing more of it. It doesn't matter.

three.

She's bigger now, with the same flowing hair the woman had. "My name is Aeris," she says formally, purposefully, as though she has been planning this moment for a long time. "What's yours?"

"Sephiroth," he replies, looking down at her.

The roses in her cheeks are misplaced in this glaring white room. She smiles. "Nice to meet you. We should play a game together," and she stands on tiptoe to pat his elbow.

Lightning zips through him from her fingertips, and he takes a sharp breath. From the depths of the lab, Professor Hojo calls her, and she scurries off.

Sephiroth puts a hand to his elbow.

four.

Her eyes are green, just like his are. She smiles up at him. "Hi," Aeris says, what teeth she has left glinting in the harsh florescent light.

"Hello," he says back, "Do you still want to play?"

She's a bit taller now, but still has to reach up to grasp his hand. While she leads him to a forgotten corner of the lab, the same lightning as before spreads from her fingers all through his body.

The energy reaches his eyes—he can't see, the whole room is blurred. His body shakes with suppressed power and there are two heartbeats in his head—his own, and someone else's.

Aeris's?

No, the heartbeat is so slow, it can't be hers.

Far away, he feels her release his hand, and the lightning surges through his body. In his mind, an unknown voice whispers—

_"Kill her."_

Sephiroth flees and leaves Aeris there, alone.

five.

He can't evade her forever. They're the only young people—not children, he's seventeen, after all—in this whole crazy world. She corners him one day after all the scientists have left. Normally, he goes back to his room as they're leaving. Today, he has been too slow.

"Sephiroth?" she falters and looks at the too-white floor, "Do you hate me?"

He opens his mouth to lie, to say yes, to get her away from him. But she looks up at him, and her eyes are green—like his—and they're so desperate, so hopeful, and he knows—he knows—how hard it is to find a damned thing to hope for in this godforsaken lab, and he can't bring himself to break her heart, and, damn it, when did he start caring? Sephiroth gives a soft sigh and says, "No," so quietly he hopes she won't hear.

"Can we be friends?" Her lower lip trembles.

This time, he doesn't even stop to think. "Yes," he says, and it matters.

Sephiroth smiles.

six.

Her test tube—Ma'kanna—clicks against his. Before their hands can brush, Sephiroth pulls back. He knows better than to touch Aeris; he can feel the voice humming in his head, just waiting for him to slip.

"Don't you love me?" Aeris asks in that squeaky, squeaky voice her test tube talks with.

Sephiroth rolls his eyes and—as is expected of him—replies in a comically deep voice, "Of course, Anna, I just… uhm… wanted to do something else."

Aeris frowns, empty hand on her hip. "You can't do that!" she tells him in her own voice, "That's against the rules!"

Curse eight-year olds and their incessant need for happily-ever-afters.

"Can't we play something else?" he asks, moving to set Marcus Samuel Vincent Victory Sephy Monkey down.

"No! Don't put him on the ground!" Aeris scowls fiercely at him. "We played your icky boy game yesterday!"

Sephiroth gives a wry grin—yesterday, he'd wanted to do something more action-y. She'd made him be the princess while she rescued him from the dragon. Hojo hadn't been amused when Aeris tried to 'slay' him.

"Alright, Aeris," and Sephiroth clicks their test tubes together.

Aeris's squeal is loud enough that they almost don't hear Hojo call her name. With a hurried goodbye, she sets Ma'kanna down and scurries away.

When she's gone, he pockets the test tubes and goes to work with his katana. That day, he destroys the practice room.

seven.

She's taller now, with almost all her teeth grown in. Tears gather in the corners of her eyes and, damn it, he can't even brush them away. "I don't see you anymore," she whispers, "Are you mad at me? Do you want to stop being friends?" The tears are flowing down her face now and she's shaking so hard—he thinks she might break.

Guilt tastes like ash in the back of his mouth; she has gone three months thinking he doesn't care.

"No, Aeris. I've started training to be a SOLDIER, to get out of here. I've only just now gotten a break." At his sides, his fingers twitch. He hates it when she cries. "When I make SOLDIER Second-Class, I'll be able to come back once a week."

With streaming eyes, she looks up at him and nods. "Okay."

Hojo yells her name, and she's gone before he can blink. He punches a hole in the wall.

eight.

"I'm leaving tomorrow," he tells her during a visit, "I doubt I'll be back any time soon."

Aeris smiles wanly and looks up at him with those big green eyes. Her tears are much rarer now, as are her brightest smiles.

"It's the war, isn't it?" At his nod, she sighs. "Just come back safe."

Once upon a time, she would have hugged him—or tried to—but she's learned, learned he won't let her touch him.

She's losing herself, just like he is, and it matters.

nine.

Three years later—after he has spilled Wutain blood on red soil—she's gone.

Hojo says she escaped with her mother. Sephiroth hopes she's gotten as far from this place as possible.

It doesn't matter that he'll never see her again, only that she's safe.

It's a lie he almost believes.

ten.

The black-haired SOLDIER—Zack—says, "Hey, Sephiroth. Come with me, I want you to meet my girlfriend."

He opens his mouth to refuse; they're not friends, but Zack is already leading him down an obscured path in Sector Five. Sephiroth sighs, and allows himself to be led—Zack doesn't know the word 'no' anyway.

When they come to a stop, there are flowers and sunlight. He frowns—it's impossible, isn't it? Everything below the plate is dead—or in the process of dying—and dark. This shouldn't be possible.

Only when the door opens does he realize there is a house at all. It's a small and neat house, different from the squalid buildings prominent in the slums.

"Aeris!" Zack calls, "Come out and meet my boss!"

She runs out and—it's her, with her big green eyes and her long brown hair. She comes up to his shoulder now, and is dressed in pinks and blues instead of that green smock she wore in the lab. Her hair is tied with an over-sized bow. It's fitting.

"I was wondering when Zack would bring you here," and her smile is bright as he remembers.

Sephiroth blinks. "You escaped."

"My mother," Aeris bites her lip and looks down at her heavy boots, "she got me out."

She looks back up at him with a smile. Her eyes twinkle in the sunlight, for once not dulled by harsh lighting.

"I wanted to thank you for being my first friend," she tells him, peering into his face, "It must have been hard, being a teenager and having to deal with me everyday."

Zack laughs and wraps his arms around her waist from behind. Sephiroth can't help the subtle smile that creeps across his face: Zack will treat her well and they will be happy. She was never meant to be trapped in that white room—her place is here, with the flowers, with the sunlight, and with the grinning boy.

Aeris will be happy; she _is_happy. Sephiroth is happy too. It's enough to know that she's safe, isn't it?

Tears gather in her eyes and she takes a step nearer, hands twitching at her sides, as though she's repressing the desire to throw her arms about him. "I missed you," she whispers.

He nods. Zack unwraps an arm and brushes away the tears like he never could.

Sephiroth turns away because, damn it, it matters.

eleven.

Her whispers pound in his head, hard like hail. Once, he'd been foolish enough to think this was a language she'd made up for her test tube dolls. Now, he can recognize it. The Cetran language, the Planet tongue. His lips curl, and Mother whispers, _"Wait. The time will come."_

The blond boy arrives, carrying Zack's sword. He is so easily controlled; Sephiroth can nearly feel the boy's arms shake as he struggles to move the sword away from Aeris's head. Sephiroth smirks—after today, she will no longer be in his way.

The final words of the prayer drip from her lips and she smiles that bright smile. The boy hasn't killed her; in fact, he sets the sword aside and watches Aeris smile in the sunshine, as though mesmerized.

_"It's time."_

Relief is his katana sliding through her stomach, relief is her blood smeared on his hands like a sticky glove, relief is seeing her twisted and broken but still smiling—just as he remembers.

Her blood coats the crystal altar and it's beautiful, perfect, and the boy is weeping, and everything is as it should be, with Mother shrieking her triumph. The last Cetra is dead.

Aeris's green eyes remain open and sightless, and, now, they're just like his.

Sephiroth leaves, and nothing matters anymore.


End file.
